just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
