I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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