I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
