come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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