Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
