opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
