did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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