mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
