Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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