The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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