Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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