i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
