even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
