i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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