I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
