Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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