i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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