I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
