I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
