I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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