Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
