Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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