i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
not ubering you a puppy
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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