omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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