Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.