Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Come see our sink grown plant.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming