Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
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Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i think i just lost a toe
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo