I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.