Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.