they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
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there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.