oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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