Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
