im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
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God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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