It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
