My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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