so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
