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its not stalking. its research.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
