Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
