I want to walk on stilts...naked
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
