put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
