I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
we should paint friendship bongs
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