Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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