Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
