Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
