Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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