woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
