My room smells like vodka and shame
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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