how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
