no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
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Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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