Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
