This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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