I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
