i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I've blown a few things in my day
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize