It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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