remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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