Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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