...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
