Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
