I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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