it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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