idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
