I'm lost and stupid without you.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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