Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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