where am i from again
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
