normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
