dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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