I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
