If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
